Darkness of Mood

The terrible thing about struggling with depression is that for no reason it can crushingly return. I spent the better part of last night tumbling into a terrible sort of mood that I just couldn't escape from.

I went to bed early to try and evade the downturning mood. However when I woke I was fully in its grip. Darkness followed me throughout the day. I often thought it would be better if I wasn't around anymore.

Horrible. Inescapable. Pervasive and nagging. I passed my time today just trying to make it to the closing bell of work. The day was spent watching the clock minute by minute. The hours dragged.

Each thought that came to my mind were nothing but each one of my complete and utter failures. My failure with my partner, my children, my job, my dogs all cascaded down on me like some terrible rainstorm. A bitter and tumultuous day I want to put very far behind me. No reason why it should have struck. I hope this evening I can find some relief.