Return

My last post was months ago. I went through a very good patch from November 2011 until January of 2012. Everything clicked along smoothly, personal life, work life and medications all seemed to gel nicely. Then I hit a snag.
It is hard to say what went wrong. I suddenly became aware that my depression had returned, I was isolating and I felt terrible. Lithium was not keeping my dark depression at bay. I was sleeping badly, eating poorly and my social life was non-existent.
Come March I was thinking about suicide on a daily basis. I was devising plans and writing my suicide letters by the end of the month. At the beginning of April I decided to end my life and went to my pre-chosen location and was going to hook up my vehicle and something stopped me.
Instead of taking my life I checked in with my medication manager at Acadia Hospital and was admitted to the hospital for observation. I spent close to six weeks admitted to Acadia Hospital for treatment of my depression and bipolar II disorder.
In the coming days and weeks I hope to return to writing about my experiences as I struggle with depression and bipolar II disorder. I will describe my travels as I have struggled; social problems, physical problems and the emotional pain of the condition. I will describe my journey towards finding the correct medication. I will also write about my experiences with some unconventional therapy.
I hope for this to again become a place for me to process the painful struggle that is depression and hopefully generate some sense of recovery and hopefulness in my daily life.