Grief

Slightly over one year ago my partner broke up with me. We were together for over five years and had a wonderful relationship. Depression creeped in however and spoiled me. I became a different person. A person she no longer wanted to live with. It was devastating.

I write about that separation now here over one year later because that break up is still effecting my recovery from depression. As I endure the ECT treatments that are correcting my depression, the sadness from the split still envelopes me on a daily basis.

I write these words in hopes that those of you out there struggling with grief will learn that there is no correct timeline for recovery. Obviously, we all want to return to a positive state of emotional health. We must learn, however, that the grief process takes time.

I have not dated since the split as I have not had the emotional energy for that activity yet. I still have a great deal of emotion that is tied to that broken relationship that I have yet to heal from. I know that one day soon I will be ready, I just don't know when.

It is important for us, as we recover from depression, to distinguish between deep depression and unresolved grieving. In our hurry to extinguish the heavy sadness that comes with depression we don't want to eclipse the necessary pain of the grieving process. It is difficult to pinpoint that fine line, but I think when each of us holds up the sadness to a full examination we can tell which is grief and which is sadness. I believe we know what the necessary pain of grieving feels like, before and after our expression of it.

When we deal with the pain of grieving sadness we often feel better afterwards. We feel lighter, brighter as if the world is a clearer place for us. We have with depression no such resolution or brightness. Depression is a trap of darkness that we need to avoid. So, my friends, dig into those unresolved grief issues of sadness and begin to unlock brighter, more resolved and happier days!