Hopefulness

It is amazing how hopefulness has come storming back with a fury. I had been as deeply depressed as I have ever experienced. Suicidal does not even begin to express how low I had fallen. Nothing was pulling me out, exercise, medications and even talk therapy were not helping. Then came ECT.

With ECT I have come full circle and am again flying high and full of hope and confidence. Even though I have worries about my life, finances, relationships and friendships, I'm flying high and hopeful. I am able to keep everything in perspective. Stressful events don't bring me crashing down into a flaming heap. Life just doesn't bug me or tear me apart like it once did.

I have the deepest urge to keep on living and experiencing things in life around me. I don't want to quit out. There are a litany of things I want to do before I end my time here and I don't want my time to end anytime soon. I feel a new zest for living, a new hunger for participating. It feels really good.

Many things other than ECT have contributed to my new found state of being. For one thing I have reduced my alcohol consumption to two drinks a weekend and none during the weekdays. I am also watching my diet much closer and not over eating to excess. Along with those changes my medications are now tweaked to provide me with better support. The new regiment really seems to be helping to keep my mood up.

All in all I feel like a new person who has just made a great discovery. I want to live! There is allot that I can be sad about, but I choose to look to the brighter skies and be hopeful. Life is getting better and my hopeful happy days are swiftly returning. Here's to brighter days for all!