Knowledge

Ledge Falls by Matt May 2011

Ignorance can truly bring rise to fear. Often I don't even know what I am fearful of, I just feel the fear swelling up inside me. The possible diagnosis of mixed state bipolar has had me afraid.

I have begun doing some reading and I can honestly say that I feel the fears subsiding a bit. I'm not entirely without fears, mixed state bipolar is by all accounts very difficult to treat.

I have read that sufferers of this disorder have a very tough time finding relief and gaining momentum in their recovery. While this worries me for my own sanity and peace of mind, I'm working to understand this disorder and quell the fears rising.

There are a number of descriptions that truly do match my own predicament. I do suffer from a deep and dark depression that is laced with agitation and anxiety. I have periods where I am able to get a lot done and seem to have an abundance of energy, while they are laced with periods of heavy lethargy.

There may be cause to explore this further. I have tried over half a dozen antidepressants with no luck. My current, Lexapro, seemed to give me a bounce but it has whimped out for me. I have more periods of deep depression each day as time has passed. I'm currently at the tenth week of being on my current maximum dose, so maybe mixed state bipolar it is.

I will continue to keep you all posted.

Take Care Of Yourselves!