For me being on the motorcycle captures that in the moment exceptionally well. Right hand operating the throttle and the brake. Left hand operating the clutch. Right foot operating the rear brake. Left foot operating the shift lever. Each of my extremities is engaged, completely engaged, in keeping the motorcycle upright and heading in the proper direction.
I am trying to duplicate that feat with my morning and nightly meditation practice. Mindfulness comes easily on the bike, not so easy in the quiet of my small room. In the quiet, my mind takes flight and wanders. I'm drawn into the past by the entity, reminding me of all of my failures. The entity also beats my self esteem down all but sabotaging any positive future ventures.
I struggle to keep the focus on the present. Some days I am able to sustain my focus. Others, I can barely set my meditation stage. I know that I am still early in recovery and I should cut myself a break. I can't help but feel that the depression is winning.
But, I will work again at my meditation practice. I will set the stage of positive imagery and self talk. I will visualize the crisp blue sky, the cool tranquil lake, the deep green grass, the refreshing breeze on my body. "I am worthwhile", "I am valuable", "I am a good person who deserves good things". I will repeat these phrases as I breathe deeply...concentrating on the present, the here and now.
Remember,
Take Care Of Yourselves!
I am so impressed that you are working so hard. I took a sort of course based on Jon Kabat-Zinn and found it so helpful. The principles are deceptively simple, tough to live by on a daily basis. I know meditating helps but I just don't do it enough - Why? Can't tell you. Once again keep up the good work, you are inspiring me to try harder. Thanks
ReplyDeleteThanks for your kind words. Many days and nights I struggle to find the energy to dedicate to my meditation practice, but I do feel it is helpful.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you find my words inspiring.