My illness fractured virtually every relationship I had. I used to shop for a family with family minded meals in mind. I used to relish picking out food that would please us all and provide us with healthy nourishment.
Now my trips to the store are painful and hollow. It is very hard to cook for one and I find I'm not eating well. I try and pick food that is nourishing and cost effective, but those two things seldom go hand in hand. More often that not Im eating prepared foods out of a can.
The alcohol aisle is painful as well. My partner and I used to enjoy nice bottles of wine and cocktails. Now the aisle reminds me of loss and separation. I avoid that aisle as the memories it evokes are just too painful right now.
It is funny how such a simple act can be obliterated by one's losses and feelings of grief. Such a simple and mundane act that once carried with it so much joy and excitement now brings forth memories of pain and anguish. They say time is a healer, well time can't work fast enough for me right now.
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