Friday June 17th

Non-doing. Jon Kabat-Zinn writes a great deal about the praise of non-doing. "It is very important not to think that this non-doing is synonymous with doing nothing. They couldn't be more different. Consciousness and intention matter here. In fact, they are key."

For me this is the most difficult aspect of my meditation practice. I work to remain present and stay in touch with my breathing. I try to allow thoughts to drift by but I always want to do something with them.

I want to engage in my thoughts, solve a problem, work out some solution, or simply reorganize the thoughts as they drift by. I'm like a border collie. I can't seem to slow down enough to just allow things to be. I try and line them up. I try and wrangle them together. I label them and appoint characteristics to them, this one can roam abit, that one needs immediate attention, that one needs a nip to regain some control.

This non-doing business feels like serious doing! I know deep down that it shouldn't. I also know that I have been there a few times, content to allow things to simply be. As I practice I realize that my progress isn't a straight line, rather it is a twisty mountain road. I am ascending, I can feel that. I know because my days are calmer, my nights are full of peaceful sleep. So the practice has delivered for me what I had hoped for, some moments of peace and clarity amidst the raging storm of depression.

Take Care Of Yourselves!