Loss. Due to different circumstances, including severe depression, I surrendered my dogs today to a great shelter with guaranteed homes. I'm in a housing situation that just can't support two full sized dogs. My friends can no longer house them while I work through my recovery.
My depression led me to this place. My disconnection, apathy and removing myself from intimate contacts carried me to this step. I can't express how badly this hurt. I know this is the best path for them as I'm unable to care for myself or them right now. They are headed for wonderful loving homes and that is my only positive feeling about losing my friends of 16 year.
I exhausted my search locally through my vet, kennel and friends. I even exhausted efforts through state run retriever foundations. In the end I chose a "No Kill Refuge" to surrender my girls. They are extremely nice folks who love animals.
This was one of the most painful days I have ever experienced.
I really have nothing else to say.
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