Ride The Waves

My mind is simply roiling with thoughts that crash upon my shore with great regularity. Initially my meditation practice was intended to help alleviate some of the waves. I have discovered this is not the goal.

Jon Kabat-Zinn writes, "Meditation is neither shutting things out or off. It is seeing things clearly, and deliberately positioning yourself differently in relationship to them."

So the goal is now to allow the thoughts to simply be. I practice to concentrate fully on my breath and remain in the present state seeking calm. When the thoughts crash in or rise up to swallow me I will attempt to surf, ride the waves without trying to calm or suppress them. It is an attempt at being one with my thoughts in a non judgmental fashion.

The thoughts of suicide fall into this troublesome category. I will allow them to float by without acting or reacting to them. I am simply thinking about the relief and escape. It is not a plan or any future action I will take, it is simply a large bothersome wave that is yet unquieted in my mind. In time my meditation practice will slow the feeding of these thoughts and the waves will decrease with the force and regularity with which they currently effect me.

If you too are practicing a meditation ritual, keep at it. I am assured that good things will come for me and mine, and I'm certain for you too.

Tak Care Of Yourselves!