Awareness

I recently posted about my meditation practice going poorly. I found I was trying to manage and manipulate my meditation time. Instead of observing and concentrating on my breath I was trying to do.

In my reading over the 4th I discovered a great passage that I feel will be exceptionally helpful. Jon Kabat-Zinn writes about awareness, "Awareness is more like a vessel which can hold and contain our thinking, helping us to see and know our thoughts as thoughts rather than getting caught up in them as reality.".

This is a solid prime directive. Awareness isn't thought, rather it is the supreme state of being present. Present to our thoughts in a relationship that doesn't judge, manipulate or act. We move beyond thinking and become one in a state of complete wakefulness.

The idea of meditation for me is to become more of an observer of my thoughts and being so that I will hopefully gain perspective. I want my thoughts to be of service to me instead of me servicing my thoughts. Instead of depression, anxiety and grief derailing me I hope to gain a sense of inner calmness when those storms approach. By practice, learning and understanding I hope to reach that calm place along the pathway to sit and observe, sit and learn, and finally sit and understand my relationship to my thoughts.